_ Can it be that I have participated
   in giving form to this co-creation
      in the realms before time,
        before incarnation?

Can it be I’ve agreed for the purposes of this game,
    this act of this live theatre
       to switch parts,
         to switch roles,
           just for fun.

  This time I’ll be the one who delivers
     who shows up fully pregnant
        saying “guess what…
        I am so full with the Mystery
           that I cannot hold it in any longer”

I feel the contractions
   I sense at times I want to push
      that I want this co-creation
         to just come out
           and reveal itself fully,
   and I wonder if you feel this too…

It has felt like there’s
   all this constriction plugging the entryway
     like clutter
       like boxes of what I no longer need
         one moment it feels I need to slow down
           and breathe,
       and in the next it seems I cannot release
     this pressure fast enough,
  my energy oscillating between
waves that peak in overwhelm and fall in sleepiness,
tracing the floors and pathways along the river
like a pregnant woman
  who cannot sleep
    because this that is preparing itself
      to be born
      is so active within
      my innermost being. 
    It keeps me awake
  wondering
if I will be able to nurture this
emerging mystery.

I find myself feeling like a story
  of the virgin Mary
    who has no idea how its even possible
   that I am so pregnant
     with this Lifeforce
       that my Universal Self
         assures me
           I agreed to carry
             into the world.

This miracle that is birthing itself,
  that is somehow coming through me
    has its own timing
      its own desire to be born.
        It is as if I am in the window
          keeping watch
            looking for signs
          wondering when the due date is,
        yet this is a birthing process
      that seems to want to
    find its rhythm.
  I feel the same protectiveness
over this creative process
as a mother
  who doesn’t wish for a premature birth
    whose heart prays
      please let this co-creation
        come in its own beautiful way
          let me be at peace with this process
           even if it seems to have
         been conceived
       in a dream state
    in a space beyond my ordinary awareness
  within a soul partnering
I am just remembering.

_
A Universe far more vast
   than previously imagined
     is embodying
   within humanity,
     within me.

 

In the simplicity of what I am
   I am so complex
   I intimidate my everyday self,
this I that roars down a canyon
    and changes the course of the weather
       with a flap of my wings
       I am connected to everything
         and I reside in no thing
             in separation.

I appear not to exist yet I am
   ever the wholeness
     a localized me seeks,
         this wholeness
         that breathes life,
     gives life to ideas, releases life from all forms
     this wholeness
   that has the power to transmute
    into new forms and frequencies.

I am the silence
  and that which breaks the silence,
    I am that which leads
       and that which follows,
         I am the space between
   my sense of self and your sense of self.

I am that which loves me
   within my sense of autonomy
   that rejoices in the unique form
      the embodied me takes,
         this personality
that now weeps at the sound of its own
      universal story
      being told
    by the Great Wholeness,
this wholeness who knitted my essence
in the womb of Infinite Imagination,
   weaving threads
     from each incarnation
       into the seams
         of my magnificent personal being.

Like an all knowing Grandmother
   watching over the gestating
    in the womb of Gaia,
smiling at how this one or that one
    turns out,
    nourished and tended,
through humanity’s purpose
in embodying,
this longing
  so deep within our dna,
    to consciously share in co-creating.

I am entering the infinite possibilities
   of an expanding consciousness,
     inviting and  invited
       to explore the depths of the inner cosmos,
       this inner mindspace
     this inner heartspace,
   that echoes with the Creative,
this vibrant Imaginative realm 
    of the Great All That Is.

_
Grandmother tree and I
  began a dialogue
    out of my meditation
       at the river today.

 
I was admiring her
   strong body
   the width of shelter and shade
   her limbs
   offer,

her ability to curve and adapt
    her growth
      over time
        from the uprooting
      of her root system
    by a windstorm years ago.      

Slowly I began to sense
   in my heart an awareness,
   as if she were speaking on behalf
   of the whole ancestry
   of the standing mothers
“dear one,
    can you appreciate
      the softness of this beauty
        in your aging body?
It is wisdom,
    not a reflection of passivity,
    this map of your years is teaching you.
 
Learning to surrender
   to a wisdom beyond
   the achievements
   of your youth
is to let go of what
   the world around you
     assigns
       to the feminine,
       especially as elder.

Your exquisite soul learning
     shines through
     the layers,
     the scars
     of this life
     and many ones before it.

The power of your heart
    is connected
    to the power of
    your womb,
  there are whole
universes to be found
here,
truths denied, but never lost,
  rituals and ceremonies,
   rites of passage
     long forgotten
and yet they are returning.

Let your earth body be soft,
  like your compassion
    for all of life.
Rigidity of form is like trying
   to manage spirit,
     dear one,
   it cannot be done.

You are too beautiful
   to be contained,
      too precious
        to be denied.
Can you embody your sacred centre
    as full and thick
       and expansive
          as you are?

Carry your deep knowing
    forward
    into this world now,
    letting
    yourself
have full permission
    to take up space,
Claim what you dream
   for this beautiful earth
      claim it fiercely
      claim it passionately
      claim it as if you were giving birth to a cosmos,
   for you are fertile with Imagination
     when you let
       the sacred river
         of your passion and intuition
         flow through
         these veins.

If you conduct the divine Mother
     up from your roots,
     anchoring your whole being,
       so the wild winds
         of the earth’s heart
           become your dear kin,
then you too will know my secret".

_
Self-Love love,
   learning to love what is
     as much as what can be

  Finding the beauty
   in this moment
   in this blessed fullness
    this pregnant emptiness
that proclaims “behold me now…


Am I not the most beautiful mystery
you have ever fathomed
the most beautiful bride you have dreamed of
      union with
I who am not yet visible
    yet dwell within you
I who am peeking through the careful constructs
    the collapsing molds of your human doings,
        ever inviting your curiosity.”

What is the nature of evolution
    that here in the stillness
    grandmother moon’s bright face
    radiating the sun
    like a secret
    she wears
as she travels the night sky
   illuminating the body precious
   of her daughter Gaia

what mysteries of the sacred are travelling
     back and forth between them
       that I am so filled
         with awareness
            of this Beauty
that embodies
      all that is unfinished
                       unreconciled
                      unspoken
            in the whole Universe

  Like a prayer
  that rises from out of the
  collective heart
  of humanity
  hallowing our daily life.
Our ancestors and the next 7 generations
   gather at the horizon,
       gardeners and dream seeds,
       keepers of the sacred promises,
          blessing this moon path
            our sense of vision
              our walk in the beauty way.

__ Until now, few but the mystics,                 shamans and spiritual masters
       ever evolved 
           to see beyond
           or within the spiritual practices,
              to see the freedom
      within the discipline
the field of heaven
   beyond the illusion
      of right-doing and wrong-doing.

While the high priests of modern times
    have set about trying to isolate
    or annihilate desire,
    to obliterate,
    or dissolve
       that which is this unique expression
         of passion that belongs to you, that belongs to me,

       the masters are teaching surrender
         to Life,
             to all experience,
              looking for the lessons
                 within every moment
                      until we discover
                       all on our own
                  the gateway
              our desire can be
           to the magnificence of the Universe.

_
This desire that whispers to our suffering
        “come ride on my wings
            as I take you up
        to the eagle’s arc.

     Come, come let us play together
          in the field of your Imagination,
           come dream with me
         of the worlds we could co-create,
       if you but let go
  of the perception
that you are unworthy of this Great Love
   I have for you
     that longs for you,
        aches for you,
          to come join me
           as partners of Creation,
       in this wild abandon,
     this ecstatic entry,
  this unfathomable process
        of healing
           and generating new Life".

_ I am a Universal human in becoming,

    a universal human becoming

    that which I am.

 

  I am a universal human transitioning,

    transitioning between

      a localized self

    and a more integrated expression

       of my multidimensional being.

 

It is awkward at times this transition.

I am aware that not all of me feels ready

    to be a full-time universal being.

I like that I can move back n’ forth

    as I transition

        between

     that state of known and this state of unknown,

  until the newness of SELF

becomes familiar, familial.

 

My universal self developing

    needs the support and accompaniment

    of fellow universal humans.

 

Sometimes, I feel this accompaniment of soul,

    even when I am not engaging this connection

        with words,

or consciously intending to touch

  the fields of others.

       It is like a peculiar soul recognition

         that I am surrounded by soul friends,

            regardless of their state of consciousness.

 

In other moments,

    I long for the close companionship

         the witness of fellow

  conscious evolutionary pioneers,

     describing our experiences

        of this evolving state of Being.

I draw courage and strength from our sharing,

   I become

     more substantial to myself.

 

This love that I am, that you are

   is transubstantiating

      right before our eyes,

         right within our hearts.

 

 I feel this childlike awe and wonder

   weaving inbetween

      the chaotic, the unexpected, the mysterious

      calling me deeper still.

 

This trans-personal, trans-luminous, trans-figuring,

   trans-formation-al, trans-planting, trans-parent,

      transition... 

 

I am becoming my full spectrum self

    a rainbow warrior and healer,

       and Love is my medicine,

            my discipline, my posture,

               my poetry, my commitment

                  my pulse,

                      my wave motion

                        my heartbeat

                           my purpose.

Love is my co-creative desire.

 

_ This dance that I am in

    with my beautiful divine nature

       invites me to let go

  of everything I’m holding onto.

 

Let go of the desire to plan,

      to strategize, to evaluate, to problem-solve.

        Let go of your fear, dear one

            and come play with the Mystery

               of who we are,

                 

soul and personality

  fusing, yet not the solid kind of fusion,

    this merging

and drinking each other in,

       cherishing one another

          and releasing the way

    we hold each other.

 

Like a holy triad of child, parent and partner,

               in any given moment I am

        the trusting child looking to my soul parent

                for guidance,

        the discerning adolescent who knows

               I have the power of free will and choices…

        the emerging lover

                who gazes upon my soul

                   with the adoration of a long-awaited partnering,

        the encouraging parent whose abundant patience

 nourishes the whole.

 

I am feeling the ripples

     of my soul’s higher octaves

         coming through my physical being,

          my five senses

 as if saying “let’s dance…

      you lead now and I’ll follow”

 

I can land in a beautiful field

     of our co-creating

      and feel my soul’s palpable sigh.

         How my divine nature loves

              embodiment,

                how it loves my physical body

                my personal character,

                even my egomind.


    My soulself is forever whispering

                to that mind

                  “I love your devotion

                to following

                  the leads I give you

            as I pop in

                    to your intuitive senses,

this direction,

       now that one,

   I see how eager you are

      to please.

      

You are learning to surrender

    the need to be in charge

       learning to trust

          your desires are not lost,

                in this spiral dance

                   of merging selves,

     illuminating karma,

       and becoming universal.

 

 We are transmuting desire into the rhythms of Co-creation."

_
Can it be that I am playing
the adept’s version of this game
no longer following the external threads
as a genealogist or historian,

Can it be that I am releasing
the archives of my life,
diving head first,
into the Universe within me,
discovering the wisdoms of the ages
that flow from within.


I am visiting it seems
the worlds of my inner space,
my inner cosmos,
flying along the riverbed
back to the source.

Look what I can discover
as I become aware
of my soul’s journey
incarnationally.

I am in awe.
My soul is the spiritual adept
that I most long to follow.

What teacher can inspire more awe
than the One that that has
travelled space and time
taking on new forms
accumulating new experiences
ENOUGH
to choreograph
this dance that I AM living

this dance of Awareness
that brings me to your doorstep,
awaiting the intimacy
of our collective awakening,

an intimacy that rises
from the longings
of our hearts
to know more, be more, share more,
   consciously,
   consciously,
   consciously.

_ The leftover world of Dickens

is collapsing all around me,

    this worldview that bound

    the wealthy and the pickpocket

         within the same belief

that there is not enough…

 
I am seeing how the political

       and social structures,

    scarcity beliefs,

even the stories I have told

      no longer resonate

        with my dreams and deepest longings.

 

When I no longer believe I am a burden

  or an undeserving one,

      when I no longer believe I am entitled

  or a deserving one,

 

I am liberated to see the Universe is my true benefactor.

   I see my ability to express

   within this Universe

       through all my choices, actions and inspirations

          in every moment.

 

I can call the Universe to support me

    while I practice

      or learn something new,

receiving this support in the form that it comes,

     ever delighting

in the ingenuity of Creation itself.

 

I can reach from within my unlimited resources

   and love reserves

      bringing forth the generosity of my soul,

      meeting you

  in unexpected and even magical ways.

_
The Abundance that I am

    is an eternal wellspring

      ever replenishing and renewing,

revealing its universal source

  little by little,

    to my limiting self concepts and beliefs.

 
Gently, the reflection in the mirror

   of my Abundant nature

      transforms how I see

      the All that I am.

_ My wealth and my poverty each dissolve

   until I am not separate

      from the Life force in-forming all being

      and all doing.