_ Where do I begin and end
   as a conscious being
      connected to all things
         to plant, animal, mountain, stream,
            microbes, bacteria, particles,
              animate and inanimate matter,
                 if my genes speak to the environment
                   telling it what I see
                     and in so doing I change my environment
                    as it is changing me,
                   if time is an illusion
                  for the purposes of learning lessons
                that build one upon another
              then where am I now in my learning
                  with all my soul family,
                all my relations on Earth and in the Cosmos,
              what can we see collectively
            if we are part of a larger consciousness
            undergoing an evolutionary shift
             from out of the chaos of systems breaking down
              climate changes, weather extremes, personal and global health challenges,
               democracy crying out, old justifications for war being challenged
                 by generations younger and those who have become
                   disenchanted with the stories of power
                     in the hands of
                      the unseen hand
                       of a market ‘place’,
                       if place and time are cultural creations
                      and in every field of thought
                    from politics and science
                  to technology and economics,
                bleeding through the old theories
              can we see glimpses of a new worldview
            a new blueprint for Creation,
         gently and not so gently
          breaking through?
    
           If none can stop an evolutionary wave
             moving through the cosmos,
                if this inner quaking
                  rises from my very dna,
                     does this commitment to participate
                       consciously in my own evolution,
                         to embrace a
                           whole new Field of perception
                             make me a pioneer,
                           crossing the frontier of a worldview
                         that expands beyond Earth
                       while including her?
                     Having embarked on this evolutionary journey
                   with my eyes and my heart set
                 on my highest frequencies of being
               I am realizing that there is no turning back
             no going back to unconsciousness,
           to holding hands with the illusion
         that I am not able to change my reality
       from the inside out.

     I admit however much outside the mainstream
    I thought I was before,
    I’ve taken a quantum leap
     the ground I stood on just months ago is disappearing
      while the new species of human
        I am consciously evolving into
         is still emerging.
          I can only describe my emerging Self
                 experientially
             for the very vocabulary
               this ‘what’ I am transforming into,
                  continues to emerge itself.
                I know I am not alone
                   in committing to this path,
                     called forth by
           planetary futurists, shamans and elders
             dubbing our new species with names like
               homo luminoso
               homo universalis
               homo noeticus
               homo progressivus

     Ironically I will admit today
   this path can still be a lonely one
while embracing that I am more
  than a solo conscious being,
   operating in form,
    that I belong to a Larger Family, 
     a larger framework,
        a larger story.
          New relatedness,
        mixing with the pre-existing,
      the billions of years old Story,
    this path of a pioneer
  would appear like an amazing gift,
 to make my way in all things new,
such freedom to co-create.
Yet the homework
 of becoming new
  every day
   to one’s sense of Self
     can be a lonely path too,
       this path of healing,
               integration,
           transcending self,
       stabilizing,
    consolidating,
     joining limited and unlimited,
      masculine and feminine,
        body and spirit,
         transforming Both.

 

_ I am staring at a flashing cursor
   aware that a pressure is building
      I want the gift to show up
         the grace that enables me to write
            and I stare at blank space
               blank mind
 and the impatience rolls in like a bank of fog,
    enveloping me
      inviting me
         to just let go.
   
The more I desire
       to create a bridge
          a bridge of words
             the more the neutral space
                 sifts my thoughts
                   one by one
                     until I am one with the emptiness.

There is so much I want to express
  my heart assures me
     yet my mind sits,
       gets up
   takes a stretch.
I would like to say my mind
  is becoming more like my new roommate,
    she who sits so totally present
      to the moment
        gazing out on the world below
           from our balcony.
     Her ears twitch and point
  with such focussed awareness,
     she can stare at an insect with such
         rapt attention,
    her whole body humming with
      the focus of her curiosity
        she vibrates.

The communication between us
  is often a mystery
    when her gaze meets mine
      I am easily as curious
         to see what inner state
           will appear.
 Sometimes her countenance is one
   of a gentle tolerance
     that of a lioness
      who looks knowingly
        straight into my soul.

In those moments I am like a child
  who gazes in awe at the wisdom
    held in those eyes
      and I feel so young,
        still so young
         in my journey.

         So just as my mind blank
       begins to fill
     with really simple gratitude,
   I feel another wave
 Impatience wanting to go somewhere
  say something important
    And I’m empty once more.

    If writing is a process,
     I am fighting with parts of me
       that want more
         from life,
           from me
            and somewhere inside
          anchoring all this struggle
       is this incredible peace.
     I guess I would describe that
   wellspring as my eye
 in the middle of the storm,
the still place
  that is in the centre
   and rejoices
    in the midst of chaos.