Can it be that I have participated
in giving form to this co-creation
in the realms before time,
before incarnation?
Can it be I’ve agreed for the purposes of this game,
this act of this live theatre
to switch parts,
to switch roles,
just for fun.
This time I’ll be the one who delivers
who shows up fully pregnant
saying “guess what…
I am so full with the Mystery
that I cannot hold it in any longer”
I feel the contractions
I sense at times I want to push
that I want this co-creation
to just come out
and reveal itself fully,
and I wonder if you feel this too…
It has felt like there’s
all this constriction plugging the entryway
like clutter
like boxes of what I no longer need
one moment it feels I need to slow down
and breathe,
and in the next it seems I cannot release
this pressure fast enough,
my energy oscillating between
waves that peak in overwhelm and fall in sleepiness,
tracing the floors and pathways along the river
like a pregnant woman
who cannot sleep
because this that is preparing itself
to be born
is so active within
my innermost being.
It keeps me awake
wondering
if I will be able to nurture this
emerging mystery.
I find myself feeling like a story
of the virgin Mary
who has no idea how its even possible
that I am so pregnant
with this Lifeforce
that my Universal Self
assures me
I agreed to carry
into the world.
This miracle that is birthing itself,
that is somehow coming through me
has its own timing
its own desire to be born.
It is as if I am in the window
keeping watch
looking for signs
wondering when the due date is,
yet this is a birthing process
that seems to want to
find its rhythm.
I feel the same protectiveness
over this creative process
as a mother
who doesn’t wish for a premature birth
whose heart prays
please let this co-creation
come in its own beautiful way
let me be at peace with this process
even if it seems to have
been conceived
in a dream state
in a space beyond my ordinary awareness
within a soul partnering
I am just remembering.
in giving form to this co-creation
in the realms before time,
before incarnation?
Can it be I’ve agreed for the purposes of this game,
this act of this live theatre
to switch parts,
to switch roles,
just for fun.
This time I’ll be the one who delivers
who shows up fully pregnant
saying “guess what…
I am so full with the Mystery
that I cannot hold it in any longer”
I feel the contractions
I sense at times I want to push
that I want this co-creation
to just come out
and reveal itself fully,
and I wonder if you feel this too…
It has felt like there’s
all this constriction plugging the entryway
like clutter
like boxes of what I no longer need
one moment it feels I need to slow down
and breathe,
and in the next it seems I cannot release
this pressure fast enough,
my energy oscillating between
waves that peak in overwhelm and fall in sleepiness,
tracing the floors and pathways along the river
like a pregnant woman
who cannot sleep
because this that is preparing itself
to be born
is so active within
my innermost being.
It keeps me awake
wondering
if I will be able to nurture this
emerging mystery.
I find myself feeling like a story
of the virgin Mary
who has no idea how its even possible
that I am so pregnant
with this Lifeforce
that my Universal Self
assures me
I agreed to carry
into the world.
This miracle that is birthing itself,
that is somehow coming through me
has its own timing
its own desire to be born.
It is as if I am in the window
keeping watch
looking for signs
wondering when the due date is,
yet this is a birthing process
that seems to want to
find its rhythm.
I feel the same protectiveness
over this creative process
as a mother
who doesn’t wish for a premature birth
whose heart prays
please let this co-creation
come in its own beautiful way
let me be at peace with this process
even if it seems to have
been conceived
in a dream state
in a space beyond my ordinary awareness
within a soul partnering
I am just remembering.
